Pregnancy second time round is a whole different experience! You dont get to sit as much, pee in peace, nap and eat everything you own without a second pair of hands clinging to you. I found the tiredness the hardest thing! 4pm would hit and i would hit a brick wall, the exhaustion from growing a baby in the first trimester second time round was consuming! On the flip side, you know what to expect, you know the routine with your midwives, you know when your scans will be and you have an idea of how you should feel. My sickness this time round, was horrific. I barely kept anything down for the first 12 weeks and actually lost weight. We had made the decision to not find out the gender (we were both convinced it was a boy). But at the scan we changed our minds and we were both so shocked when we found out she was a she! It such a humbling joyful moment, i was having one of each and for me that was something i had always wanted - and this is ok to say. It does not mean i would have loved a boy any less. Gender disappointment is common, and unspoken. IT IS OK. We are all humans and have our own dreams. But not all dreams come true, sometimes the new ones are better.
My labour started after my waters broke in the early hours of the morning on Saturday 11th January. I had nothing to suggest i was going into labour prior to this, no contracts, no show, nothing. So i was shocked but so so excited because i was able to do it naturally for the first time. As i had a c section with my first i was told to come to the maternity word be monitored. I felt completely comfortable at this point, but i was happy to be in a hospital and safe. Nothing progressed till the late hours of the morning, they gave me a hormone drip to get the contractions going. They started very quick! And boy did i underestimate the pain! I honestly think you truly cannot describe labour to someone. The pain in indescribably, but you also have this power of strength because you want to hold your baby, you want this baby out!. I started with the pethidine injection for pain relief. This is an injection to the top of your bum cheek. Everyone has different reactions and i had read so many positives about the drug, but my reaction to it wasn’t great and i found it really scary. It made me drift in and out of sleep, i felt delirious and i was having conversations i my dreams and then waking up and actually talking and i couldn’t distinguish when i was asleep or awake. It was the strangest feeling, i had lost control and I didn’t like that.
As the pethidine wore off i opted for the epidural. Everything after this felt so much calmer, i was smiling again and able to enjoy the labour process. At this point to my disbelief it was dark again outside. i had now been on the maternity word for over 12 hours, I had stared to push around 7pm and I pushed for around 2.5 hours. Her head would begin to appear but the moment the contraction stop she would slip straight back up. I was extremely tired by this point and i was done, and the babies heart
rate was not as good as it should be so they decided i would go into theatre. It was all a rush at this point lots of papers to sign, people talking to me about what was happening and people putting needles in me. As we got into theatre i felt dread, i was terrified of having another c section - this was the last option if they couldn’t get her out. I remember repeating to the anaesthetist I don’t want a c-section i don't want a c-section. The doctor was so comforting and he gave me a gold pep talk and calmed me down. He explained they would try the vontuse first and i would have to push with EVERYTHING i had.
You loose your dignity in labour but theatre is another level of lost. My legs were up in sterups and i was exposed from the waist down to everyone in the room. They try to keep your dignity, but you honestly don’t care, they don’t care, they’ve seen it all before. They have done this so many times, and you are so high that you dont even consider whats happening. They made a small cut to me and applied the vontuse to the babies head and i pushed as hard as I possibly could! It took one push, and she came out! She was huge! She lay on me and i cried with relief and so much love.
Our little Ella-Rose was born at 12:20am weighing 9.12lbs and she had a head full of light brown hair.
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